Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
