I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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