I'm gonna have a badass scar
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
