Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize