I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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