It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
