thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
