I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
