I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
