I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
