His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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