dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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