Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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