Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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