You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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