you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize