I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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