I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
