just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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