Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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