Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
