You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize