Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
