Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
