did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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