There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Be still, my beating vagina.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
