Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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