Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
