and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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