Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
