fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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