Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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