great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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