I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
