Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
