you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize
