I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
