Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
