she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
