My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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