i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
