You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
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dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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