I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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