I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
