its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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