I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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