never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize