I looked at my own cervix.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
