why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
