I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
