i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
