Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
