Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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