How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
