I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize