id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm just crazy horny about you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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