four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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