she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Your penis caused this!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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