I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
