He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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