i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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