Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
