Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize